Ask The Wedding Consultant
February 2011
Dear Wedding Consultant
Question:
It is Black History Month and I am finalizing my wedding plans for February 2012. I want an Afrocentric Theme Wedding but I do not want to wear any type of traditional African Wedding Clothing with Kente cloth or african material, nor do I want to have a traditional old fashion American Wedding gown but the wedding will have a formal flair. I would like something in between the cultures. As well, my fiance is of a different culture and he wants to honor my wedding dream but not look insulting to those who take our culture seriously.
What would you advise so I can can have the best of both worlds.
Janet, Kansas
Dear Janet,
Answer:
There is a large difference between an African American traditional wedding and an African Wedding. I will assume you are questioning and African American wedding. The only difference, the bride and groom wear clothing accents which express their culture and the couple after pronouncing they are husband and wife, jump over the broom which is laid at the alter. This is because African Americans were considered Slaves, Property and were not permitted to marry in America. They would have a public declaration of love and commitment by jumping over a broom to the beat of drums.
Since you are marrying outside of your culture, a regular tuxedo is appropriate for him and how he can show respect for your culture is by wearing African cloth accessories such as the bow tie and the cummerbund.
Flowers are flowers, the difference is whether they are from a warm climate and have a tropical feel or are grown in colder climates. Summer may be easy to get a wide area of flowers. Since it is an ethnic wedding my advice is to stay within your color theme. I tell this to every bride, if you are getting married in green and white, use green and white flowers on the tables, as your bouquet, for as much as you can. However, if you want it colorful then you can work this out to perfection with your florist.
Examples of a cultural wedding gown. It would depend on your likes, size, shape and so much more. If you are a small woman, you would be very able to pull either of these gowns off. You see one looks like a wedding gown anyone would wear but it is accented with a African crown which changes the appearance.
However going away from a traditional American gown and more into the African theme and would work well with a summer climate theme. But your wedding dressmaker can go as
American or African as you would like to make it.
If you are interested in cake information, check out one of N.E. Informers articles, "African American Wedding Cake Toppers this month and you will find out how to handle your cake situation.
I hope this was helpful and remember, this is why you should have a wedding consultant. It might cause but in the long run it will reward you.
If you have questions to ask the Wedding Consultant please send questions to: neinformer@verizon.net
WEDDING POEMS
February 2011
*Note: Wedding Poems are not always for the bride and groom. This is a wedding poem that was written for a bridesmaid
Hold My Hand and I'm Yours
by Nicholas Gordon
Hold my hand and I'm yours,
And your heart will stay close to mine,
For I know the sun must rise with the dawn,
And at night the stars must shine.
And the wind must wander the ocean
And sing with the waves of the sea;
Just so, I know, I'll be by your side,
And you will be wedded to me.
And you will be wedded to me, my love,
And I will be wedded to you;
For I know the tide must turn with the moon,
And the spring must return ever new.
And the sky must weep that the hillsides
May laugh in the green of their joy;
And the leaves must turn red, brown, and gold
That the earth might their riches employ.
And love like a mad, swollen hunger,
And love like an unending song,
And love like the silent pull of the Earth
Shall be with us all our lives long, my love,
Shall be with us all our lives long.
Afrocentric Themes
Afrocentric traditions can add a special touch to your reception, either on their own or combined with other decorations like balloons. Kente cloths, which are woven with traditional African colors of red, green, and black, offer an abundance of decorating options and can help you cut costs.
"You can make a centerpiece that doubles as a guest favor, for example, so you’re saving money," explains Deryl Wallace, owner of Flowers to Remember, Vallejo, CA.
The cloths can be used as table coverings or table runners, and decorated with ribbons in colors corresponding with the Kente. The ribbons can be garnished with bows and dried flowers, which, according to Wallace, are not only less expensive than fresh flowers, but they better complement Afrocentric decorations. The Kente can also be draped behind the bride and groom’s seats at the head table, providing a personalized backdrop. You can even arrange the Kente around the wedding cake and add ribbons and flowers for a special touch.
Kente cloth can also be used as napkins. Wallace suggests tying the rolled napkin with ribbon and tucking a bit of baby’s breath underneath. Adding a card printed with the bride and groom’s name, along with the wedding date, transforms the napkin into a keepsake guests can take home.
Other African traditions can be easily incorporated into the reception. "In Ghana, they give the bride a pot to symbolize her new role as a homemaker," Wallace says. "This can be tied into the reception by using similar pots to hold favors."
Perhaps the most popular African tradition you can include in your reception is broom jumping. Brooms are used by African wedding guests to sweep evil out of the new couple’s lives. During the turn of the century, jumping the broom was one way African-American couples chose to show their commitment to one another. The tradition is finding its way into many African-American weddings, as it not only sweeps out evil but also symbolizes the leap into matrimony.
Chicago wedding consultant Rosemary Gordon suggests passing out miniature brooms as guest favors. Wallace suggests another way to play off of the broom jumping tradition:" Africans view weddings as a union of two families, not just two individuals. Having each family member and close friend tie a ribbon onto the broom handle, and voicing their blessing to the couple, is a nice way to show that these people will be there for the couple, throughout their lifetimes," she says.
The bride and groom can complete the ritual by tying a ribbon and saying a few words to each other.
If you plan to add Afrocentric touches to your wedding reception, it’s a nice idea to make a short announcement during dinner explaining the tradition behind the decorations so all your guests can appreciate them and truly experience your celebration.
Etta James singing "Never My Love"
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African American Wedding Cake Toppers
By Bill Hansen
February 2011
Cross border marriages have grown many folds in the last decade or so. The swiftness at which the mode of wedding décor is shifting, it seems that skin ensign are no longer the same enigma what we faced in past. This impressive rise in such marriages is a very path-breaking mode of colors and ethnically inspired wedding themes for coming years. This freshness in the society with inspired ideas, colors, and concepts are just great for weddings. With such a remarkable growth, cake toppers are feeling the pinch as well. Growing demand of African American wedding cake toppers have outnumbered many other available toppers.
In view of the fact that every bridal couple is incomparable, you can mix and match them with African American wedding cake toppers. Such cake toppers make a perfect cake top for interracial, multiethnic wedding. Along with the African American wedding cake toppers, you might further ask for Asian American, Caucasian, and Hispanic American or dark complexion cake side statuettes. Afterwards, you could spot your multiethnic couple on the base. To make it even more rosy, a bouquet of shiny and matte roses can connect the wedding duo by their hands.
African American wedding cake toppers with side statuettes can be put only next to the wedding cake, or used as a centerpiece cherish from that special day. In such African American wedding cake toppers, all Brides wear a white, strapless gown and netting veil with trim. The veils ribbon-edged tulle in Caucasian Bride has light brown hair while the rest comprise black hair.
In the African bride cake topper, you might see the bride in her white wedding gown ready for her ceremony. Such African American wedding cake toppers, if you placed on top, you can be assured of a beautifully decorated wedding cake top. African American wedding cake toppers can be personalized to look just like what you wish.
African American wedding cake toppers - Stunning monogram and unique wedding cake toppers for all wedding and anniversary occasions.
The Bride Kit Introduces Wedding Planning Resource and Name Changing Kit
February 2012
Washington, DC, United States, 01/31/2012 - A new wedding planning resource that provides engaged and newly married couples with timesaving and smart ideas - TheBrideKit.com.
The Bride Kit is a comprehensive wedding planning resource and a complete name changing kit. It’s designed to help engaged and newly married couples get organized and save planning time. Don’t plan your wedding without it!
When The Bride Kit co-founders, Shurman and Pamela Vines, couldn’t find an all-inclusive resource on the market to meet their wedding planning needs, they decided to develop one. The Vines’ set out to create a one-stop-source for essential information that will save couples the time and effort they lost during their own wedding planning.
With The Bride Kit, couples won’t need to spend months, weeks, or even days pouring through countless bridal books, websites and magazines--hoping to find those key and beneficial articles.
Instead, brides and grooms can follow the clear steps laid out in The Bride Kit. Engaged couples will be months ahead of the planning process. With less stress, couples can enjoy more of the wedding experience, versus the seeking the details of wedding planning.
“We’re excited about our new wedding planning guide. We want to help engaged couples spend less time researching so they can spend more time enjoying the wedding experience,” said Pamela Hart Vines, co-founder of the company.
“The Bride Kit includes a ready-name-changing kit, a comprehensive planning calendar, pre-marital counseling questions, detailed marriage license information, and so much more! What it doesn’t contain is, all the broad information scattered throughout the internet. The Bride Kit Team has sifted through volumes of material providing only pure and vital information.” Vines said.
About The Bride Kit
The Bride Kit (thebridekit.com) is comprehensive wedding planning resource and a complete name changing kit. The Bride Kit contains all types of useful planning information, forms, and suggestions to save engaged couples time, money and effort. Saving time and money will help brides and grooms concentrate on the meaningful and special parts of their memorable occasion. Don’t plan your wedding without it!
Ask June: Filing Taxes Jointly or Separately With a Military Spouse in Combat
By June Walbert
February 2011
Q: This will be my first year filing taxes as a married man, and I'm confused about how I should file -- married filing jointly or separately. I completely trust my wife, and know her financial liabilities/health. My question is based more in the military venue. I am currently stationed in Iraq, and therefore my income is tax free. My wife is working as a server (waitress). Her taxable income (approx. $40k) will be quite a bit more than mine. Would it make more financial sense to file jointly, or separately?
A: Congratulations on your marriage, and thanks for all you are doing over there in the sand, wind, cold, and heat. In most cases, filing jointly makes the most sense … and dollars! Since you're a couple now, the goal is likely to pay as little in taxes as possible.
To illustrate your scenario, I'm going to assume that you have no children, do not itemize, you were in a tax-free combat zone throughout the entire year, and that you and your wife did have adjusted gross income of $40,000 (including dividends, interest, and her wages). In this scenario, if you file jointly, your total federal income tax would be around $2,300 (that takes into consideration the standard deduction and personal exemption).
On the other hand, if you both filed separately, you would have zero tax, but she would owe around $4,300. So, if you want to keep momma happy and do what makes the most sense for you both, it appears filing jointly is probably the way to go.
There are a few instances when it makes sense to file separately. One example would be if one of you had extreme health expenses that exceeded 7.5% of that person's income. As with all things tax-oriented, seek advice from a tax advisor or CPA. He or she can prepare your returns both ways and see what makes the most sense based on the specifics of your situation. Thanks for a great question!
June Lantz Walbert is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER practitioner with USAA Financial Planning Services. She is also a lieu?tenant colonel in the U.S. Army Reserve with 20 years of service. Walbert's basic branch is Air Defense Artillery. She writes a weekly advice column, "Ask June" on military.com. Follow June @AskJune_usaa.
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. owns the certification marks CFP and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER in the United States, which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board's initial and ongoing certification requirements.
African-American Wedding Music
By Kathy Ferneau
February 2010
Kathy Ferneau has played and taught the flute for over 40 years. She would love to teach you to play the flute, too! Stop by ... ...
What makes your wedding uniquely African-American?
It's easy to adopt Western traditions. Even in Africa, brides are choosing to go with Western-style weddings.
You can preserve your heritage in your wedding with African-American wedding music. What does this mean exactly?
Most couples have their own taste in music and that usually means the popular music of the day. But let's explore the roots of African-American music for your African-American wedding music...
Spirituals
Blues
Rags
Jazz
Swing
Perhaps these styles don't seem like they will fit into YOUR wedding, but look deeper.
If you are having a Christian ceremony, the spiritual fits well into the wedding. The spiritual is one of the most significant genres of American music. Yes, many of them are mournful, speaking of hope beyond present day circumstances, but many are stirring and uplifting, professing their faith. Try A little more faith in Jesus...
All I want, All I want, All I want is a little more faith in Jesus
Whenever we meet you here we say, A little more faith in Jesus
What's the order of the day? A little more faith in Jesus.
I tell you now as I told you before,
A little more faith in Jesus,
To the promise land I'm bound to go,
A little more faith in Jesus.
What an exciting way to start a joyous occasion!
The blues are another uniquely African-American musical form. Now you might think the blues are just way too depressing for a happy wedding day. Blues music reflected the newly-acquired freedom of slaves in America. There are many songs that have a sad origin, but in the context of a happy wedding, work well. Consider, for example, Can't help lovin' that man of mine from the movie "Show Boat." Yes, she lost her man in the movie, but he's all yours on your wedding day and the words convey a beautiful sentiment...
Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly,
I gotta love one man 'til I die,
So I can't help lovin' that man of mine.
Rags or rag-time - another great African-American tradition. Ever heard of Scott Joplin? This pianist extraordinaire practically invented the idiom. If you saw the movie "The Sting," you heard a lot of rags. This style predated jazz and reached its popularity in the first two decades of the 20th century. Most rags are upbeat and could work as prelude music, and would be fantastic during the cocktail hour or during dinner. You could hire a pianist to play a selection of rags.
Jazz is the epitome of African-American art and is fabulous African-American wedding music. All you need to do is hire a great jazz band and your reception will be awesome. And don't forget that swing!
Jazz can work well in the ceremony as well. Embraceable You and The Nearness of You are great jazz vocal solos as the mothers are seated or when the bridal party is entering.
Drums - If you want something really exciting and truly African, why not process down the aisle to a traditional African drum beat with musicians dressed in traditional garb? Contact your local university music department, music union, or music store, and ask if they know of any African drum ensembles. Or do an on-line search for an African drum ensemble.
Make your wedding a true cultural heritage experience with African-American wedding music.
ANNIVERSARY GIFTS LIST
Most people know the Silver Wedding Anniversary is the 25th Anniversary, and the 50th is considered the Golden Anniversary. How many are aware the 40th is Ruby, or the 45th is Emerald?
Well let N.E. Informer help you with your anniversary questions. Whether you wish to give the traditional gifts given through the ages or stay in the loop with what the modern gift lists consist of N.E. Informer has it here.
October 2011
Anniversary Date Traditional Gift Modern Gift
1st Paper Clocks
2nd Cotton China
3rd Leather Crystal, Glass
4th Linen, Silk Electrical
Appliances
5th Wood Silverware
6th Iron Wood
7th Wool, Copper Desk Sets/
Pen-Pencil Sets
8th Bronze Linen, Laces
9th Pottery, China Leather
10th Tin, Aluminum Diamond Jewelry
11th Steel Fashion Jewelry,
Accessories
12th Silk Pearls, Colored
Gems
13th Lace Textiles, Furs
14th Ivory Gold Jewelry
15th Crystal Watches
20th China Platinum
25th Silver Sterling Silver
30th Pearl Diamond
35th Coral Jade
40th Ruby Ruby
45th Sapphire Sapphire
50th Gold Gold
55th Emerald Emerald
60th Diamond Diamond
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WEDDING NOTICES
If you are getting engaged or married and want your announcement in New England Informer, send announcements and images uset
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