How To Rebuild A Relationship Once It Has Broken

By James Nussbaumer

Sadly, struggling and working at how to rebuild a relationship, is typically among those things. We begin discovering that being in a wonderful relationship takes work. If this sounds familiar to you, and you feel your relationship might be better, then continue reading.

It means you realize the "holy relationship," as the Course in Miracles terms, being of you and that you're capable of.

You can not start fixing a broken relationship if you are not aware it is broken.

Take heart and start working towards learning how to rebuild a relationship, making yours a holy one at that.

The Course in Miracles states, "The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment. In all its aspects, as it begins, develops and becomes accomplished, it represents the reversal of the unholy relationship."

You may be able to patch things up on your own if you and your partner are excellent at interacting with one another.

Maybe there was a time when you could talk to each other, but you have actually since started drifting apart.

You need to stop immediately, otherwise you may end up in a complete blown argument and state things you will regret later on. Speaking of saying things you'll be sorry for later is one of the things to let go of when fixing a broken relationship.

Remember to deal with each other with respect as you're working things out.

The key to fixing a broken relationship and making this work is to take it slowly, discuss the habits (not the person), and how it makes you feel.

If, in spite of your finest efforts, you find that you're not making any progress, then it's time to take the next step.

Don't worry, more couples than you 'd ever believe have actually had counseling for fixing a broken relationship at one point or another.

It's not a reflection on your weak points, however rather proof that you still care enough about your relationship and to save your marriage to try to heal it.

Whether you opt to try to repair things yourself or seek relationship counseling, what counts is that you are doing something.

Stick with it, be willing to do whatever it takes and you will have your marriage back in shape in no time.

Healing the Relationship

Sadly, worrying and fixing a broken relationship over how to save my relationship is typically one of those things.

If you and your partner are great at communicating with one another, then see it as a holy relationship and shift forward in mind from within yourself to patching things up.

Remember to keep in mind to treat each other with respect as you're working things out. You both might not like some of things the other one is doing, however you don't need to make it personal.

Simply act from the heart, and your love for each other will grow.

To mending your relationship!

 Hi, I'm James Nussbaumer, I'd like to introduce myself through my thought provoking self-improvement and inspirational books, articles, and other content which are reflections of A Course in Miracles. I'm also offering you a Free version of my EVERYDAY MIRACLES newsletter, where you'll get updates on my webinars, videos, livestreams, other events and so much more, helping everyday people live life on their own terms. This is for folks who are interested in letting go of the past and attaining Real Abundance, Purpose, and Wellness in their lives.

Learning to Love Her Anyway

By Moona Sharief 

We all want to cherish that special person in our life whom we hold close to our heart. Practically, this idea runs into many problems because of individual differences make agreement difficult.

You are two different people with different views of the world. To live together harmoniously, you should create a shared dream that is important to both of you. It could be buying a house together or celebrating your twentieth anniversary together. These beautiful dreams will help you focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.

1. Love the minor differences

No two people are exactly alike-even those besotted with each other. Big or small, differences are likely to creep up from the unlikeliest of places. If you want to love her unconditionally, you will need to care for her in spite of the differences. Remember, differences occur not due to someone's fault, but due to the fact that you are two individuals. Do not try to change her, but try to move ahead with a better understanding of each other.

2. Don't take things personally

There are times when certain aspects of your personality come into sharp focus. Maybe you are a loner and her highly sociable lifestyle throws your limited social circle right back at you. Constantly. Do not develop a complex about these things. Instead of taking them personally, view these things in perspective. She has her life and you need to love her for her personality - it should happen the other way round as well.

3. Set rules

Setting rules is a great way to make your expectations more explicit. Rather than springing up surprises and causing the other person to feel uncomfortable, it can help if both of you know what to expect from each other in specific circumstances. You can set rules for interacting in public or with each other's friends and parents, managing expenses, and so on. This will reduce disagreements and make it easy to build a relationship.

4. Forgive

If you want to love her unconditionally, you will have to learn to forgive, even when your mind feels like a pressure cooker or your heart is bleeding. Just forgive. In the end, nothing is worth hurting someone with your words. You can always return to the matter after both of you have distanced yourself from it to decide what went wrong. Once you have done that, simply put it to rest for good.

5. Don't make everything your problem

Many people feel very responsible and protective towards their partners. While this is a good thing, it can often lead to an unbalanced relationship. Everybody has problems, and your girlfriend will have hers. Trust her to solve her problems on her own. If she needs your help, she will let you know. Until then, you should simply stay away but let her know you are always ready to help.

To love someone anyways is about valuing him or her as a complete person, not as an idealized image you have in your mind. Realizing that you are a person with a vibrant personality can be one of the most enriching aspects of your life.

They say happy couples live longer and happier lives. Strong and enduring relationships do not exist just in the movies. Like millions of real couples, you too can develop a rich relationship with your partner. Share this article to help others take responsibility for their relationships and care for their partners in an enlightened way. Subscribe to our blogs to receive regular updates about interesting articles to improve your relationships and lead a more satisfied life.

Happy Birthday Wishes 

We want to Take a moment to wish all those born in the month of November a Happy Birthday.

Thanksgiving Wishes and Messages

By Thomas C Mill 

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of the year when families come together in the United States and Canada to give thanks for what they have and to enjoy each other's company. The traditional meal is served with turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. It is also customary to send Thanksgiving cards at this time. Sometimes it can be a challenge to come up with the right words to put down on a Thanksgiving card. But fear not, we've got you covered with this collection of Thanksgiving wishes which you can use as you like. Enjoy the gratitude and spirit of the season. Happy Thanksgiving!

Let us take a chance to recollect the immense times spent together, scrumptious turkeys eaten and magnificent garments purchased to commend this day. Have an incredible Thanksgiving day.

Warmest considerations and best wishes for a wonderful holiday and an extremely happy New Year.

Sending you my warm wishes from home to home and from heart to heart to wish you an exceptionally Happy Thanksgiving! May this day be a delightful reminder of the awesome things in life.

The blessing of wonderful companions is the most delightful gift of all. You are in my heart and thoughts all year, and, particularly amid this special season.

May you have a superb time this Thanksgiving, with your loved ones. Appreciate and be grateful. Happy Thanksgiving Day.

You are a very precious gift to us. May love, happiness and health be yours in wealth this Thanksgiving season.

You're in my mind and my heart. Hoping that this day holds all the joy, happiness, and affection for a brilliant and joyous Thanksgiving.

The thing I'm most appreciative for right now is elastic waistbands.

Thanksgiving is not only for expressing gratitude for what you have. It is also a period to be appreciative for what you are going to have. So have a happy Thanksgiving Day!

We ought to search for somebody to eat and drink with before searching for something to eat and drink.

Express gratitude toward God each morning when you get up that you have something to do that day, which must be done, regardless.

Gratitude is nothing but the heart's memory.

Forever on Thanksgiving Day the heart will discover the pathway home. I'm grateful for a great number of things, however I'm most appreciative for you!

I am including in this message my wishes for God's blessings to rain down upon you and for you to have a healthy and long life. May you get up each morning feeling refreshed and full of joyousness, Have a blissful Thanksgiving.

Have a peaceful and happy, abundant and comfortable, prosperous and humble Thanksgiving. Appreciate all you can

Pray to God for the individuals who have been less lucky, in affliction, in agony. May this day bring peace to their lives and better their days. May God alleviate them from their miseries.

Much thanks to you God for your unbounded gifts and abundant harvest. It is because of you that we value life every day. May your gifts keep us on the path of kindness.

Make me a decent person, to deal kindly with my family. Make me a decent spouse, to cherish with my partner. Make me a decent individual, to be an example of humility. I need to better the world starting on this Thanksgiving Day.

May this Thanksgiving find you with much love in your heart, a table surrounded by loved ones and a stomach full of delicious food. Smile and be grateful for all you have been blessed with.

We hope you have enjoyed these Thanksgiving wishes and messages and that you found the perfect one for you or that you were inspired to create your own.

If you would like to see more, check out our huge collection of Thanksgiving messages.

Or if you are excited for the New Year, enjoy this enormous collection of New Year wishes.

Single and Waiting

By Connie Jackson 

Are you waiting for your Boaz? If you don't know who Boaz is, he is a character from the Book of Ruth in the Bible. Boaz was a wealthy landowner. He noticed a foreigner named Ruth, took interest in her and immediately began to protect her. He found favor in her because of her kindness and Godly qualities. He instructed his male servants not to lay a hand on her and treated her like a queen. He knew that she was the woman for him when he first saw her. Today, many Christian women compare his qualities to those of the man they want in a husband; a man who will take care, protect, and treat them like queens.

Whether you haven't met him yet or you think you have but you are still technically single, you may often find yourself wondering either "where is he?!" or "when is he going to ask me to marry him?!" Simply based on our feelings of readiness, we place all the blame on him.

I want to make a suggestion that perhaps this man is chosen for us by God and this chosen King will come when the Queen is really and truly ready. Just because we are tired of the single life, we feel like we are ready to settle down, we are in love or have met the man of our dreams does not mean we are ready for the purpose that God intends us to execute as a match for His chosen Boaz. We need to be open and ready to receive this man, emotionally healthy so that we have something to offer. Here are a few things to consider while waiting for your future hubby to arrive:

#1 Stop blaming him for not being able to fulfill your need to get married just because you feel you are ready! Everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason that you are waiting is because you are not as ready as you think.

#2 Dig deep. Take a look at yourself and ask if there is anything that you can work on to make yourself the very best you there is to offer. Are there any childhood troubles that haunt you or hold you back? Are there secrets that you have never discussed that have negatively shaped you into who you are today? Did you pick up a couple of undesirable traits from your parents that you wish you hadn't? What about past relationships that you still hold resentment or shame about? Now is the time to reflect and face any demons or excess baggage that you carry. Try counseling or therapy and prayer to help you talk about it. This will not be easy, but God is watching, and sometimes He won't allow you to move forward because He needs you to drop some things from your past. These things can get in the way of the role He needs you to play paired with your husband and your purpose. Your marital stagnation may not be Boaz's fault at all. Your future hubby is going to need a helpmate not a patient.

#3 Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of the song "Bag Lady" by Erykah Badu? STOP RIGHT NOW and YouTube it. It's quite deep and the message is clear. The bag lady portrayed in the song isn't carrying physical baggage but the emotional kind. She states "Bag lady you gon' miss your bus, you can't hurry up, cuz you got too much stuff", "one day, he gon' say you crowding my space". The lyrics elude to the fact that carrying too much baggage will delay life progress, slow you down from establishing successful relationships. It can get in the way of a current relationship, creating doubt by your mate that there is enough room for him along with your emotional baggage. Spend this time of waiting, reflecting and challenging yourself to learn more about you and face the tough stuff BEFORE you bind your man into marriage.

#4 It doesn't have to be that deep. If in review of yourself your findings say that you are not emotionally challenged but yet Boaz is still not here, then use the time to check off a few bucket list items. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and amaze yourself about what you thought you could never do. Experience something new, discover new things.

#5 Last but not least Volunteer! Often times when you take the focus off of what you don't have and put it into helping others, God will begin to answer your needs (this is how I met my husband).

My point is, if you take the focus off of him and invest it into yourself NOTHING but good can come out of it. One of three things will happen.

#1 You will distract yourself from the waiting period and next thing you know, your Boaz has arrived.

#2 You learn more about yourself; your confidence level goes through the roof and improves your chances of being noticed by the man of your dreams.

#3 After making all these improvements to yourself you may realize that the guy you were waiting on isn't the Boaz you thought he was and you deserve better. There is definitely nothing wrong with that!

Visit my blog for a unique take on dating, you've tried everything else. Why not?

Make Up, Break Up Or Wake Up?

By Vance Larson

It's been another knock down, yell out loud name calling fight. It's the fourth one this month and the month isn't even half way over. You're thinking how did it end up this way? You think love him, but the non stop arguing is too much to handle at times. You have a thousand thoughts running through your head. Your friends say dump him. Your mother ask if you're really happy? You two aren't currently talking. What do you do? Make up, break up or wake up?

I think most of us, if not all have been in this situation before. When two or more are gathered together, there is bound to be conflict at some point in time. The question is how do you handle that conflict? Another thing to think about is, is love really enough?

Conflict is natural in every relationship. The healthiest couples use conflict as a stepping stone to greater intimacy. It does neither party any good if you pretend that the conflict doesn't exist. Instead acknowledge it and begin a healthy dialog on what the problem is, and what steps can be taken to move past this. One of the biggest issues I see in working with couples is the need to be right, or assigning blame. And while that may feel good in the moment, it rarely leads to a positive outcome.

So should you make up, break up or wake up? I like to start by advising that you acknowledge your part in the conflict. Well what if you did not have any part in the conflict? Be honest with yourself. What led up to the problem? Were you in tune with your partner? Was there anything that you haven't done in the relationship that you usually do? If you truly haven't done anything to add to the conflict, what about the conflict itself? How did you handle the discussion? Did you give your partner time to explain {without interrupting or hurling accusations?} Did they feel safe while giving their side of the story? This is critical when trying to move past conflict.

Most long-term couples have learned the value of feeling safe during conflict. Safe in the context of the present moment. When we keep score of past problems and constantly bring them up, our partner is not going to feel safe. Nor are they going to want to open up with their honest feelings. There needs to be an understanding that the conflict is about what is happening now. Not what happened 2 years ago. We make choices. And if we stay in a relationship and forgive the past, it really is not fair to continue to bring it up. That is a decision that you made. And while I don't mean to minimize this point, it is helpful to remember this in order to stay in the now.

Make up, break up and wake up? In order to decide, there are a few things that you may want to keep in mind. Constant conflict is not healthy. You've done your part and were honest with your feelings about your part in the conflict. Now you must ask yourself if you stay, what will be different? In other words, how is change going to happen?

For some it requires a whole new skill-set. Counseling, coaching or self- help measures all can help. But here's the thing. There has to be buy-in from both parties. I'll use the analogy of alcoholism. There is a reason why people with a drinking problem have AA. Likewise, family members also have a tool as well in Al Anon. Why do family members need to go to meetings? For many reasons. But at the top of the list is support and learning healthy boundaries. You see just as a family decides to support the alcoholic, they too must understand the part they play. But they have made a decision to stay. And that is why when you're in conflict, you're going to want all the tools available to make it work. Old thinking will not produce new results. So, if you're going to make up, both of you have to be willing participants in making it work.

What if your partner doesn't want to get help? Does that mean that you should break up? Only you can answer that. Certainly if there is physical abuse that answer is a resounding yes. You don't second guess. You just go. {And that means men too. If you're girlfriend/wife is beating on you, seek help immediately.} I would hope that internal conversation would be that if your partner doesn't want to take steps to move past conflict, that you realize that this moment is going to replay itself over and over again. If you're pouring new energy and creativity into the relationship and getting no where, at what point do you call it quits? You've done the work. You've made it as safe as you can, but you still feel helpless. Maybe it is time to break up. But it useless unless you wake up.

Wake up? Yes! This is where you do some deep soul- searching and not date anyone for a decent period of time. There is an old saying. The best way to get past the last one is with the next one. Wrong! You're going to need some time to heal, reflect and to find value in yourself. Far too many people go from relationship to relationship and relive the same relationship over and over again. Stop! The best relationship you can have is with yourself. For as you love yourself, you'll begin to set the bar for what you want in the next relationship. For as you love yourself, so shall others love you in the same manner.

Make up, break up and wake up? It is always difficult to answer. Regardless of what you decide, it will take commitment on your part to make it work. Life is too short to be stuck in a dead- end relationship. Even worse, is feeling dead in the relationship you have with yourself.

Man-to-Man: Advice Column

by Wayne M. Levine

He’s not financially mature.

Dear Wayne,

In terms of being a man, I feel most inadequate around my finances. I did not have much direction, any direction really, as I was growing up. As a result, I am approaching fifty and I feel so ill-equipped to handle my personal finances and retirement needs. Is this something the men in your groups deal with?


Behind the Eight Ball

Dear Eight Ball,

Becoming “financially mature” is an important and often—discussed topic among the men in our BetterMen groups.

Not receiving the fathering we wished we had shows up in many ways for men. Sometimes it’s about self-confidence, being disconnected from other men, or experiencing doubt when it comes to relationships. For many of us, it’s about not having had the positive role model to show us how to be responsible with our dough.

The topic recently came up in one of our groups and it led to weeks of discussion regarding personal budgets and the sharing of experiences and solutions among the men. In fact, once a couple of men revealed their personal financial challenges, it gave permission to some of the other men to open up and “get real” about their “secrets” concerning money.

Budgets were passed around and the men began to meet outside of group to teach each other and learn from each other. Soon, the men gained greater confidence as they figured out solutions to their financial challenges, instead of remaining stuck in the problems.

Men need the support of other men who are willing to be honest and willing to hold them accountable to their commitments. In this case, several men made new commitments to live within their means, to set goals for savings and investments, and to be the CFO’s of their families. One man committed to visit a financial planner.

If we don’t ask for help, we won’t get it. These “financially maturing” men learned once again that our needs are varied and shared with most other men, and that the best place to get help is from those men.

Wayne M. Levine, M.A., mentors men to be better men, husbands and fathers. Email your questions to See how you can become a better man at 

©2013 BetterMen®


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